Don't Wait

As I was reading one of my favorite blogs, I was thunderstruck with a sense of loss.  The Yarn Harlot was blogging about a trip she is taking with her mom.  It struck me that my mom and I had always planned to travel together.  We planned it in that vague, off in the distant future sort of way that one does.  I know that it will never happen.  We waited too long, even though we had no idea that we were putting it off at all.  My mom's early onset dementia prevents everything that is supposed to happen for her......and for me.  There.  I said it.  For me.  

There is only one way to right this wrong.  It doesn't even right the wrong, but it is the only thing that can even come close.  I will plan a trip with MY daughter.  Soon.  She's only 9, but waiting seems wrong.  I hate feeling that time is short and that the end is right around the corner.  Some day, when my mom has found her peace, and life begins to be normal (normal?), I might think it silly to feel this sense of urgency to do and to see and to think and to dance and to feel everything that can be wonderful.  Maybe.  I hope that feeling never goes away completely but just enough to make life not feel like a hurry up event.

We will begin to plan, my Delaney Jane and I, and I can add one more thing to the list of gifts my mom has given me:  the gift of learning to seize the day.