Meeting the Challenge: Tough Mudder Wisconsin 2012

Tough Mudder Wisconsin is in 9 days. Check that. It is in 8 days. My sleeplessness before something stressful or exciting is starting to kick in, and for the record, I can't even tell you into which of those categories Tough Mudder falls.

This 11-mile / 22-obstacle event is said to be grueling and, in fact, the toughest physical challenge I might ever encounter. (Makes me wish I'd have skipped the epidurals, to be honest...even though their effectiveness seemed to be sketchy.) 70-80% of those starting the "race" end up crossing the finish line. No times are taken. That is all on the honor system. The challenge is finishing.....as a team. We are as strong as our weakest link, and Please God, do not let that link be me. I am already the oldest member of my team, and my claustrophobia / fear of drowning in my car with the windows stuck up may be my undoing (Hence, the reason that my current vehicle is also my first with power windows.....and that was NOT my choice in upgrades. No submerged cars on the course though, as far as I know.) The event I fear most is crawling through narrow, partially-submerged tubes. Really. I can run 11 miles. Climbing, fire running, swimming, jumping off high things do not scare me (blissful ignorance to a large degree, no doubt). The water tubes have me....... and running through the dangling live wires of 10,000 volts, I guess also makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Also, I have to sign and submit a Death Waiver. I refuse to even read it. Download, Print, Sign, Fold, Submit. No reading. Not ever. I don't want to know. (Do I really get to "waive" death? If so, does this waiver last indefinitely? I wonder.)

I have trained pretty hard for the last six months. There is room for improvement, but I feel good about what I have accomplished while living the life I live and meeting my other responsibilities. I feel strong and able to hang in there. (Although, I might be delusional.)  I have put in the miles at dawn, the lifting, and the crazy alternative workouts. Delaney has hung in there with me through the monkey bars workouts, and she's paced some of my looonnggg runs (on her bike) during our extra hot and dry summer. Aidan was by my side for the yoga side planks and push ups.  We even did some rope jumping together.  Dave Grohl and his Foo Fighters have sung and strummed me through seriously hilly country roads when my bad knee wanted to take me down, and I maybe even wanted to cry once. Rob has encouraged me every step of the way with his belief in me to be able to do this crazy pants endurance challenge and by giving me the time to train.

Come what may in 8 days, my kids, Rob, and I will drive almost two hours (leaving home at the a$$-crack of dawn) in order to park and get on the shuttle in time to pick up my race packet and find my team. I can only hope that the venue is appropriate for a 6 and 9 year old. (Beer, extra adrenaline, and bands....which I'm sure only sing RD versions of all songs.....that's minivan-speak for Radio Disney, btw.  Oh yeah, kid-friendly for sure, right?) There is no way Delaney and Aidan could miss this. They have been a part of the training prep over the summer months when they've been stuck with me every day, and they deserve to own this.

So, in this midnight hour, I am questioning WHY I am doing this crazy thing. It is not a bucket list event. This is more than one in a string of whatevers to cross off a list before I die.

It's been a challenging several years (for you too?  yeah....I've heard I'm not the only one).  We've had to put our heads down and get through some things.  It's sucked.  A lot.  I mean, overall, life is grand.  But that's because it is what we make of it.  And I choose to make it grand.  Suckiness gets left at the side of the road.

Here's what I think: 

There are few roads to catharsis in life. In order to embrace the ones that are open to us, we have to be willing to be uncomfortable, take a risk, release the negativity,

believe in ourselves, and ultimately let go. This is my catharsis trip.

I have been waiting one full year for this day

(and have searched for such an opportunity for even longer).

I plan to savor it and soak it up for everything it's worth.

This is my chance to release my

stress, angst, sadness, fear, 

tentativeness of faith,

feelings of inadequacy, and frustrations.

 

It is my hurdle to clear.

 

I have this outlet to push my personal limits physically and mentally.

My children will see that, even though their mom isn't very young, she will never quit.

At the end of the day, I will know what I am made of for certain. 

This challenge is mine. 

 

Aahhh.

Every year, our family vacation to the Northwoods of Wisconsin seems almost surreal once it is over....too beautiful and reviving to the senses to have actually happened outside of our dreams.  

This year we were treated by the universe to a spectacular meteor shower.   It was Aidan's first,  and he was properly awe-struck.  The night was perfect :  cool, clear, sliver of the moon dark,  and scented with cedar wood smoke.  I hope to hug the memory of that night close forever.....and for the other three of us to do the same.

I was blissed out to run through beautiful, wild landscapes (and was told that I narrowly missed happening upon a she-bear with two cubs!).  We had a family of bald eagles nesting yards from the cabin.  Loons chatted with us in their wistful language just off the pier.  Does with their fawns made the occasional appearance.  We were reminded that nature is truly magical and a treasure to behold.

The fishing was entertaining, the beach waters crystal clear, and the trip to the sand bar yielded an exploring party to the island that has held Delaney's intrigue for three years.  Boating and laughing with my dad and stepmother makes the trip even richer for the kids to create grandparent memories to keep.

We reconnected as a family and enjoyed the company of each other.  Now, we wait 51 weeks until our next visit to our Northwoods vacation respite.   Until then, I vow to wrap myself in the fresh calmness gained by breathing pine-scented air and in the peace that comes from taking quality time with the ones I love.